Before I decide whether I like you or not...answer me this question - Are You Fat Or Thin?

I just received an email in my inbox and the subject title was "It's a fact of life - fat people are treated differently. Lose weight today". I didn't read the email as it was obviously spam, but the subject got me thinking...Do we really get treated according to our physical status?

I am a size 12/14 woman, 5ft 5 inches tall. This time last year I was a lot bigger, although I probably refused to admit it! I wore clothes that were loose, that I felt hid my size, however it only made me look bigger. I've been in my current job since 2001, so at the time I didn't feel my size made a great impact on anything...entering data for a college isn't exactly high-flying career material. Last summer, I decided to try out Slimming World. I couldn't see it working as it enables you to eat more or less what you normally would (within reason!), so it felt like a challenge...or more to prove others that these diets don't actually work! Shockingly it did though, and I'd lost 4lbs in my first week. So I continued until I felt I was at a reasonable weight! Although I'm no longer following the programme, i feel my eating habits have changed a lot for the better. I feel 10 million times better than I did, and a lot happier and, at the same time, my confidence has grown somewhat.

So, back to the subject...Looking back, I do feel that now, compared to when i was bigger, I am treated differently, even in the workplace. People seem to approach me more than they did before, and I'm even considered for upcoming vacancies.

My argument, however, is not that people may treat you differently because of your weight, more the fact that people may treat you differently because your personality and confidence has changed. I'd obviously become more approachable since I'd become more happier and confident in myself, and I found that when I was happy, other people were too.

So, are fatter people treated differently than thinner people, or is it how they feel they are being treated because, subconsciously, they are so unhappy anyway?

Please note...this is based on my own experiences and feelings - I was never extremely obese so I am not trying to base this on general feelings of overweight people and people with eating disorders.

Wishlist

I know I can be a bit of an impulsive buyer, and mainly because i'm so obsessed with make-up. Today is no different! You'd think with the economic state we're all in, I'd be more careful, but I think it's made me worse! I'm very much a 'live for the moment' kind of person, which hasn't helped me in the past, so I dont know why I'm still carrying on like i'm a millionnaire!!!

MAC Cosmetics has a Hello Kitty collection coming out in March, and it launches here in the UK next week. I've booked the day off work so I can induldge in a massive spree at their store in either Birmingham or Manchester!!! As nice as the collection is (I've previewed it on the US site), I'm hoping I dont like most of it once i've swatched them!! I've made a list of the stuff I like the look of online...along with other non-cosmetic items! So I've decided to make a list on here, and each time I purchase something I can knock it off my list....hopefully this will stop me from being so impulsive and make me realise that I can wait until next month's pay day!

So, anyway, this is my list:

• Neon Pink Dr Martin Boots
• Curling Tongues
• Corioliss Hair Dryer

From M-A-C:

• Plush Lash Mascara
• Bulk pack of make up removal wipes
• Studio Sculpt Foundation (NW15)
• Studio Sculpt Concealer
• 109 Brush
• 195 Brush
• Lavender Whip Lipstick
• Ever So Rich Lipglass
• Saint Germain Lipstick

From Hello Kitty Collection:

• Too Dolly Eyeshadow Quad
• Deep Blue Green Pigment
• Fashion Mews Lipstick
• Strayin' Lipstick
• Nice Kitty Lipglass
• Fast Friends Lipglass
• Pink Fish Lip Conditioner
• Tippy Blusher
• Reflects Blue
• Reflects Very Pink
• Big Bow Lipstick
• Cutester Lipstick
• Plush Hello Kitty Doll
• Hello Kitty Brush Collection
• Hello Kitty Purse Mirror

So...as you can see, my obsession with make up is slightly ridiculous! But, bearing in mind i've not physically seen this collection yet, it will all, quite possibly, change! Well, I hope so anyway!!! Realistically, I can see me buying just one or two lipsticks and a gloss with the eyeshadow and a blush! All items above the Hello Kitty items are permanent at MAC, meaning there's no real rush to buy them yet....unless i run short at home, of course!

Easily Led or Motivated?

OK so yesterday I was quitting uni for reasons I blogged about, along with other reasons!

Today I'm still a student continuing on my course. My lecturer tracked me down and spoke to me over the phone about why I was leaving. I explained everything to him and he seemed to think I wasn't as far behind with my work as I thought I was. He literally begged me to come back, mainly because I will have been throwing away the last 18 months of work. I know for sure his real reasons...as I discussed yesterday regarding the financial gain for the establishment, so why was I so easy to agree to continue??

I did work hard last year and loved it all...this year has been a struggle along with issues at home but I seriously thought II'd already thrown it away. Am I easily led or seriously committed to the pleasure that is photography?

Do people really mean it when they say that you're a good photographer? Or say things you want to hear? My lecturer is constantly telling me this, but is his hidden agenda to keep me to guarantee funding from external sources? The only thing I know is how having a camera in my hand makes me feel, and that is what motivates me to carry on. Does the qualification matter? Not to me, but I'm too self-competitive that I need to prove that I can do it!

For now readers, I'm still a student but with my turbulent personality, watch this space!

First Blog - Studies and Qualifications

I'm quitting uni today. Not that I hate the course, although I'm very close to hating it...but because I really dont know if i'm coming or going with it all. I've sat so many times with my lecturer over the past months and I'm still no more motivated about it all. There are more than this reason as to why I'm quitting but this blog post highlights just one reason.

Gone are the days of logic and understanding! We, as students, are merely there for these establishments to make money. We are their short term investment! As much as they go on and on about equal opportunities, it soon becomes apparent that there's no such thing! They basically allow everyone the same opportunies to make more money! The more people on a course, the more money they'll make...regardless of people's abilities...because, as I found out last year, the ones who cannot do the course, get more help than those that can....why?? So they pass and therefore generate a payment! This is all well and good, and means more people gain qualifications, but what is this worth nowadays? If someone isn't able to pass on their own merits, how is it possible to award them a qualification to say that they are?

This has all proved itself this week when my mother fell sick, and after seeing four doctors, the fifth one finally diagnosed the problem! These people have been offered a job based on their qualifications and merits.

So, having seen for myself how people pass these degree courses, I am no longer so proud of how well I did at the end of my first year, and more de-motivated to carry on.

As much as I love photography and everything that goes with it; the subject; the art and the history, I don't feel that anything I've achieved or learnt so far couldn't have been achieved at home and on my own. I shall continue to use my camera and continue with my keen interest in the subject as a whole, but for now, a Honors degree is at the bottom of my priorities list.